⬅ Donald Trump: Small Hands

Measurements of Trump's hands shows they are small, not only for his height, but for the male population in general. For example, although Trump is taller than 95% of firefighters, 92% of firefighters have larger hands than he does. SEE BELOW

The smallness of his hands clearly nettles Trump. It began with a magazine article calling him a "short-fingered vulgarian" in the 1980s -- to which Trump wrote rebuttals for more than 25 years 1. His sensitivity extended into the 2016 presidential campaign, during which Trump felt it necessary to characterize the size of his genitals after an opponent mocked his small hands. He was still sensitive even into 2019. SEE BELOW

The issue first attained prominence in March 2016, when Trump enlightened a national television audience that was not expecting to hear about this topic SEE BELOW. After his election, Stormy Daniels, a sex worker who claims to have had one episode of unprotected vaginal intercourse with Trump in 2006 2, publicly described the size and shape of his penis 3 4. Her claim is, of course, disputed. However, sworn testimony 5 and evidence collected by the FBI 6 lend it support. Dr. Zebra has not seen challenges to her detailed description of Trump's anatomy (as the description of William Clinton's anatomy was challenged), but freely admits tempering his sleuthish nature in the case of this particular topic, and also in the matter of his admitted dislike for anal sex 7.

Comment: Unprotected intercourse outside of a monogamous relationship is not evidence of good judgment. See also 8.

Comment: The House of Representatives impeached Trump on December 18, 2019, thereby solidifying "Dr. Zebra's Law" which states: "Any president whose genital morphology becomes a topic of public discussion will be impeached." See the page for William Clinton.

The Measurements

Using a bronze cast of Trump's hands made in 1997 (and kept on public display through at least 2016), the length of his right hand has been accurately measured as 7.25 inches 9.

According to data from Ergonomics Center of North Carolina, the average American male's hand is 7.61 inches long. Trump's hand sits at the 15th percentile mark. That is, 85 percent of American men have larger hands than Trump. As do a third of women. 10

Note, however, that the comparison above refers to all American men. At 6'2'' Trump is almost half a foot taller than the average American man 11. If Trump were compared to men of his height rather than all men, his hands would be comparatively smaller still. Of note, compared to firefighters, truck drivers, and EMTs, Trump's hands are at the 10th percentile or less (see below).

A Long History

In the 1980s magazine writer Graydon Carter described Trump as a "short-fingered vulgarian," prompting more than a quarter-century of attempted rebuttals from Trump. In late 2015 Carter wrote 1:

To this day, I receive the occasional envelope from Trump. There is always a photo of him -- generally a tear sheet from a magazine. On all of them he has circled his hand in gold Sharpie in a valiant effort to highlight the length of his fingers. ... The most recent offering arrived earlier this year, before his decision to go after the Republican presidential nomination. Like the other packages, this one included a circled hand and the words, also written in gold Sharpie: "See, not so short!"

Hand-Size in Relation to Height

It is not far off to say that Trump's hands are as small as he is tall.

The data comes from the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), which measures the dimensions of body parts in working populations to inform the design of safety equipment. In 2015-2016 NIOSH measured the hand size of firefighters, truck drivers, and EMTs (emergency medical technicians) 12. For all three categories of workers -- irrespective of height -- Trumps hands were in the 10th percentile or lower, meaning that at least 90% of men in these occupations had hands longer than his. Conversely, Trump was taller than 95% of these same men.

		Firefighters	Truck Drivers	EMTs
Trump's height 6 feet 2 inches	is taller than:	95% of firefighters 13a	96% of truck drivers 14a	94% of EMTs 15a
Trump's hand length 7.25 inches	exceeds:	8% of firefighters 13b	10% of truck drivers 14b	10% of EMTs 15b

Correlation with Penis Size

On February 28, 2016, Trump mocked the height of Senator Marco Rubio, one of his competitors in the Republican primaries that year. The next day, Rubio, speaking at a rally in Salem, Virginia said 16 17 18:

I'll admit, the guy he's taller than me. He's like six-two, which is why I don't understand why his hands are the size of someone who's five-two. Have you seen his hands? They're like this...
[Gestures with fingers curled]
And you know what they say about men with small hands.
[Audience roars.]
You can't trust 'em! You can't trust 'em. You can't trust 'em.

Although not explicitly mentioned, but as his audience clearly understood, Rubio was implying that men with small hands have a small penis.

Trump heard the same thing, and attempted to counter the mockery. (Notice the double prevarication in the first quote -- on his height and "never heard that one before.")

• March 1, 2016: In a campaign rally -- Trump said 18 19:

  He said I had small hands. Actually I'm 6'3'' not 6'2''. But he said I had small hands. They're not small, are they? I never heard, I never heard that one before. ... I've always had people say, "Donald you have the most beautiful hands." What?

• March 3, 2016: In a nationally televised presidential primary debate -- Trump said 17 18:

  And I have to say this, I have to say this. He hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I have never heard of this. Look at those hands, are they small hands? [holding up his hands to the audience] And, he referred to my hands -- "if they're small, something else must be small." I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee.

• March 4, 2016: At a campaign rally outside Detroit -- Trump said 18:

  So when Little Marco spews his crap about the size of my hands, which are big, the size of my hands ... [holding up his hands] Those hands can hit a golf ball 285 yards. Right? Those are good strong [does not finish] ... So what do I do? For the rest of my life I have the curse that I have [in baby voice] "little hands, little hands"? [snarls] Take that guy.

• March 20, 2016: Meeting the Washington Post editorial board -- The Post reported the next day 20:

  Trump spent 550 words and several minutes defending the size of his hands ... and correlated appendages. Why did he bring up size during the debate? "I don't want people to go around thinking that I have a problem." He concluded his thoughts as follows:

  [Rubio] said, "Donald Trump has small hands and therefore he has small something else." I didn't say that. And all I did is when he failed, when he was failing, when he was, when Christie made him look bad, I gave him the -- a little recap and I said, and I said, and I had this big strong powerful hand ready to grab him, because I thought he was going to faint. And everybody took it fine. Whether it was presidential or not I can't tell you.

• September 3, 2017: At a relief shelter for Hurricane Harvey victims -- Preparing to serve meals to the victims, "My hands are too big!" he said as he attempted to put on a pair of latex gloves 21.
• May 28, 2018: At a rally in Nashville -- Trump said 22:

  We will build new strength into our country. We will breathe new hope into our communities and we will do it all with these big, beautiful hands. [raising both hands and extending fingers] Look at these hands.

• January 2019: On the Internet -- A photograph on Trump's Instagram site was altered to make his fingers longer. This was deduced by comparing the photo with the original on the White House's Flickr site 23. (It was also altered to make him thinner.)